My witness

Lets open with a prayer. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen. Lord Jesus, I believe in your presence in my life, family and those here today. I believe that you ask nothing of me that you do not give me the strength to do. I trust in the power of your grace and the care of your love. I love you, Lord, and I wish to love you with this prayer so that I may work according to your will and in your love. Amen

Good Morning ~ Some of you may not know me, my name is Cory Sommer. I have been a member of St. Michael Catholic Church since 1999. When Pete asked if I was interested in giving my witness back in January, my immediate thought was am I ready, and after praying about it, I said yes but I still will probably read this word for word as that is where I am at right now. My second thought was, if I am ready, what are the daily readings for Mass for the day and what is God trying to teach me at this moment in my life. So if you know me you know that, and I took this quote from Jim Valvano from his 1993 speech at the ESPY's, "I am a very passionate man". Since losing Stephanie Lent has taken on a new meaning in my life. Through suffering comes grace and with death this is the ultimate sacrifice. To understand life is to realize what death actually means to you.

One thought I want you to contemplate as you listen to me today is the following: "Is this where you are supposed to be at this moment?" And I mean in the context of sitting in your seat listening to me, is this truly what God's plan for you is at this moment and to take it step further every moment of your life.

My reflection today is based off a very specific day and moment in my life, the day is May 19th 2021 at 555 PM. This day and this moment will live on in me forever, it is the day when my wife Stephanie passed from this world to the next, her heavenly birthday. I say her heveanly birthday because I believe that her purification process occurred during her battle with cancer, May 24th, 2021 until May 19th, 2022. This processes was a painful and aweful experience for her that I had the opprotunity to live fully every day during that time. The trials and setbacks that she went through I look back and wonder how or why she never gave up. I believe the reason she never gave up, was for myself and our children; she needed to endure this pain for us. She heard God's call from the reading today to "follow me", she chose to obey his words and take the path he has chosen for her and what did that mean he said to her "take my yoke upon you and learn from me" and in turn your name will be written in heaven. And she did just that everyday, she endure, she let God take this and do whatever his will was. On that day, May 19th, as I sat in the hospital room and looked at her body empty of what I remembered of her, I knew what I needed to do, and I stood at the foot of her bed and I repeated over and over "thy will be done" and I also said to her lifeless body "you are going to do amazing things". There is not a moment of a day that goes by that some thought of her does not cross my mind and how she totally accepted God's will, it is her process that has taught me how to surrender to God's will in my life. I recently read a book "Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence". I fully believe that everything that happens in this world whether good or bad happens under God's control. He allows death to happen to bring good out of it, he allows bad things to happen to increase our faith in him. All things happen under God's supreme wisdom, but I also believe that God will never give you more than you can handle, through God all things are possible we just have to ask for His help.

In my research of grief and I have talked to alot of people. I have come to believe there are different levels of grief that occur in a lifetime. There is the death of a grandparent, there is the death of a parent, there is the death of a sibling, there is the death of a friend, there is the death of a child and there is the death of a spouse. In my research what I have found is the hardest grief to endure is that of the death of a spouse. This will of course be different if you are not married. But the death of a spouse is the hardest one to endure. My findings show that with the death of a spouse there are hopes and dreams that encompass every area of you life from that day when you are first married until that time when you walk off into the sunset together and then everything that happens in between. When a death occurs from any of the other areas other than a spouse, you always have your spouse to go back to for love and support, but when the death of a spouse happens this is something different. The following is a quote from a priest of a funeral I recently attended and I found comfort in these words, "nothing can make up for the absence of a spouse. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. God doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, God keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other. Even at the cost of pain. The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the seperation. But gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. The beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a precious gift in themselves."

I do firmly believe that when you take your vow of marriage you have one goal in your life and that is to get your spouse to heaven. I have completed that goal and everything else I do from here on out is additional blessings. The last year and 9 months since her heavenly birthday has not been easy for me or my family, but I understand it is through your prayers that have supported my family through everything. In addition to daily Mass and scripture reading, I have also found comfort in music to heal and control my feelings. Here are 3 songs that have really helped me during this process to talk to God about what is happening in my life, and I still go back to them on a routine basis as they really are healing and comfort as to what I am feeling everyday. The first one I want to share with you is Mathew West and Truth be Told, this entire song spoke to me during this particular phase in my life and is still true today. PLAY SONG HERE People ask me how I am doing as the song says it is just easier to say I am fine even though I am torn apart inside. Truth be told, a grieving person is not broken even though we are torn apart, we do not need to "be fixed". Truth be told, a grieving person will walk a path alone as every person will grieve in there own time. What we do need is for you to stand beside us and support us, to understand what is going on inside may be impossible, but sometimes words or sentences can not express what is happening. Sometimes the best fix is done without words.

The next song that has help me is "When we fall apart" by Vince Gill and Amy Grant. The words that really inspired me here is "there is freedom in every drop". PLAY SONG HERE Tears are beneficial. So when you see a grieving person crying don't assume they are tears of sorrow, because many times we will have tears of joy. Understand that part of my healing is hearing from people in how Stephanie touched their life and if I cry that is ok, because those are really tears of joy and those are all part of the healing process. To put it plain and simple the amount of grief a person will go through is the amount of love that they shared. If you were to love for a lifetime you may grieve for a lifetime. I believe grief is spelt L.O.V.E. People think of grief as a bad thing when it is actually a way life. God never promised life would be easy, but what he did promise you is that you would never be alone. "The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you" a quote from Footprints in the Sand. And this is true for every grieving person, God will carry us through the toughest of times. I wake every morning and pick up this Cross that God has given me and I will carry it. When my will crosses with his will, then his will must be done.

The last song that I want to reflect on is Scars in Heaven by Casting Crowns. The words that mean so much to me in this song... Until I can finally see what you can see. PLAY SONG HERE from the beginning what I have thought most from this song has been two words selfishness and jealousy. I am selfish because I want you here with me living the daily struggles of life raising our kids fights about money or whatever else married couples fight about, but I know God has a different plan for each of our lives and for that reason I am jealous. I am jealous because, I long to see what you see. With Stephanie's entrance into heaven she aquired the beatific vision, she has the full understanding of God. Everything that I struggle to understand as I read through the Bible she has a full understanding, and with that thought I stand in awe of her and what she is teaching me as I go through life. I firmly believe that in addition to our guardian angel, my wife Stephanie is guiding me and our kids to reach our enternal salvation which she has already entered into. From first John Chapter 3 ---- Beloved, we are God's children now, what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

The thought I opened up with (are you where you are supposed to be at this moment?) is the same thought that was planted in me when I started the course for The Catechism of the Catholic Church back in October. They said this at the opening of that session and it has stuck with me everyday since. I am exactly where I am supposed to be, because God has a plan for me and if I am subjected to his will he will put me where I am suppose to be. If you truly believe that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, then you are doing the will of God.

My prayer for you this Lent is that you increase your Love. Increase your Love for God first and foremost then increase your Love for the ones you love. Thank you for taking your time to listen to me and God Bless you this Lenton Season.