Human nature is hard to understand

 Jesus said, "Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel who will not receive a hundred times more no in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mother and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come.  Mark 10:29-30

This is one of the last conversations we had regarding our faith, and it was not an easy one for me.  We talked about what you leave behind and what little value your possessions and material items have here on earth, which was a good preparation for Lent at the time.  Memories are what you will cherish, so carry those with you for the rest of your life, because in the memories is where I will be with you.  She had a calm and serial tone that she knew, I had a want of miracle that was nothing short of selfishness. I have come to understand how she believed and pray for that same strength in faith that she had.  Her only worry was for her kids, but she knew they would be fine.  She raised them, she raised them to be strong and faithful to the one who created them and to understand that he is always with you, as she will be also. She was not sacrificing anything with her life on earth, she knew what she was gaining with an eternal life with Jesus.  I still struggle at times with my selfishness of wanting her here to work through the normal tasks and trials of life but understand and am  jealous of what she sees for eternity which is what we all long for, eternal salvation in the presence of our Lord.  So I have to trust in her guidance that she gives us daily to look for that which is good in every day.  My earthly knowledge will never let me fully understand what eternity really is, so I rely on my faith to dream.  Things happened for a reason and she only knows what those things are, I have a lifetime to wait and see.


Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi 

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